How to walk, so you don’t get mugged

In the book Race: How Blacks And Whites Think and Feel About The American Obsession, by oral historian Studs Terkel, there is a quotation on p. 39 from an Afro-American man named Julian Jefferson. Here is the quotation: ‘I’ve never had any run-ins with the police. I credit that to my mother. I’ve known people that walk down the street and the police throw them against the wall and frisk them. I’ve never had that. Is it the way I live? The way I carry myself? It goes right back to my upbringing. How you carry yourself is what you’ll get’. Consider this. Whatever can be seen or heard, will be seen or heard and will form an impression. You are always sending impressions. What are they conveying? Aligned to conveying impressions and, to how you carry yourself, below is copy from my 2011 post entitled,

How to walk so you don’t get mugged.

“Inmates who were shown video clips of people walking on a city footpath rated who would, and who wouldn’t, be good prospects to mug.”  I came across this quote when recently reviewing information from my body language research library. The only reference I found for the quote was ‘Esquire magazine article, by John Poppy’ – and my notes about the article. Let me explain the quote. In a study where inmates were shown video clips of various people walking, they rated people who walked not too slowly or too quickly, as not being good prospects to mug. (That is, these people were not seen as easy prey). Other attributes that marked these people as not good to mug were their relaxed body movement and gait, and that they appeared to be on route to a destination (ie. versus walking without a purpose). In addition to keeping this ‘not too slow or to quick’ walking method in mind, here are additional ideas on how to walk, so that you signal confidence and certainty to others (and if the situation arises, to not be seen as easy prey for potential muggers).
  1. Focus your body a few centimeters below your naval, midway below your back and stomach.
  2. Keep your weight down low. Be aware of your pelvic girdle rocking back and forth.
  3. Let your legs drop free from your hips. Let them flow.
  4. Allow your body to move. Let your hands and arms swing freely.
  5. Make firm contact with the soles of your feet on the ground.
  6. Walk with this analogy in mind: Like a monorail train car, smoothly running along its track.

Own the Conversation

In the next seven days, observe how other people walk and carry themselves, and rate them in relation to the above ideas and points. For example, do they signal confidence and certainty? Begin adding one of above six points into your ‘walk’.
p.s. Check out the post entitled, Persuasion by depth of conviction.

Being ‘playful’ – video of one of the best, George Clooney

What can one say about George Clooney?

Leaving aside his job as an actor, in the following 22:31 minute interview with Charlie Rose, the affect that Clooney leaves with me – is of someone who is comfortable in his own skin, self-assured and playful.

Here is the LINK to the interview clip.

I posit that by watching good actors, whether in films or in interviews like this, you can always come away with some insight, or a model that you might adapt to your own speaking and presenting.

Own the Conversation

For me, what I’ll take away from the clip is a reminder to be playful at work. To take my work seriously (but not too seriously) while being light about myself.

What will you take away?

p.s. Check out his post with insight from legendary US basketball coach – The Wizard of Westwood – John Wooden.

Keep attention – with an ‘unpredictable wind’ voice

Consider this . . . Even a small increase, in your knowledge and appreciation of your voice, is a worthy investment. Following my suggestion last week to listen to your audio-recorded voice – consider how your knowledge and appreciation of your voice has increased over the last seven days? Even a small increase in knowledge or appreciation is worthwhile. The focus this week is on practical techniques to upgrade the operation of your voice. In the same way you can learn to better drive a motor vehicle, you can learn to better drive your voice.

‘See’ your voice as an unpredictable wind.

What does this metaphor mean? Think of your speaking voice as the wind – and your audience, as sailors on the open seas. If your voice (the wind) is predictable, the sailors (your audience) will set their sails, take a break and perhaps nod-off. (you’ll lose the audience’s attention). If your voice is unpredictable, your ‘sailor audience’ will need to keep alert to that ‘wind voice’. You can be unpredictable with the speed and cadence, the loudness, the pitch and the emotion of your voice. When we begin speaking to an audience, we usually have their attention. Over time, their attention will wane. Imagine ‘entertaining’ the ears of your audience to keep their mind engaged. Monotone speakers first lose the ear of the audience, and soon after the mind of the audience.

Acceleration/Deceleration

One way to be unpredictable with your voice, is to vary its cadence via juxtaposing acceleration and deceleration of speaking speed. Here is practice technique for acceleration/deceleration.
  1. Go to a quiet room with your smart phone and open the stop watch application of the phone.
  2. Read over the below steps and with the aid of the stopwatch, carry out the steps with the allotted time durations.
  • Take no more than 3 seconds to speak the following sentence, ‘You never get a second chance to listen to someone the first time’.
  • Have a 2 second PAUSE GAP
  • Taking a full 4 seconds to speak the following phrase: ‘Because if you’re daydreaming’
  • Have a 1 second PAUSE GAP
  • Take no more than 2 seconds to speak the following phrase: ‘that might be the precise moment’
  • Take a full 4 seconds to speak the following phrase: they’re sharing the key bit of information’.
For the above steps, there should be a total time of 15 to 17 seconds. With regular practice of this acceleration/deceleration exercise, you’ll embed a ‘speed variation audio file’ in your brain, to weave into your speaking.

Enlarge/constrain your body posture to increase/decrease voice loudness

There is a correlation between the physical space you occupy with your body posture and gesturing, and the loudness of your voice. Still your body and keep your gestures close to your torso, to decrease the loudness of your voice. Enlarge your gestures away from your torso, to increase the loudness of your voice. Practice speaking the following sentence, varying your body posture and gesture.
  • First with arms close to you body with no movement.
  • Second, with arms extending outward in front of your torso. Note the effect on your voice.
‘What if, in any interaction, you were perceived as very articulate, extremely confident and genuinely interested in the other person?’

Picture in your mind what you’re speaking about to make your voice more interesting

Some topics are difficult to visualise. However, my anecdotal field research reveals that when a person visualises a scene, and the people and objects in the scene, their voice sounds more interesting and alive. To practice this technique – in a few sentences, visualise a a special holiday scene while describing it.

A metre beyond

A recent productive technique to help my clients project their voice, so it is easily heard by their audiences, is the concept of ‘a metre beyond’. This means when you’re talking with one person, or ten people, or 100 people, imagine your voice as an arrow extending a metre beyond the last person in the audience. This technique – especially relevant for people with ‘quieter’ voices – will help you be easily heard and understood on the first occasion. Trial this imagery technique and note its impact.

Own the Conversation

Over the next seven days, choose one of the above techniques and every day practice the technique in safe interactions.
Check out this post on how to ‘seat’ yourself with confidence

Understannding your voice and how’s its produced & perceived

September marks the start of spring in Australia. It’s a time when flowers bud. In botany, a bud is an undeveloped or embryonic shoot. Once formed, a bud may remain for some time in a dormant condition, or it may form a shoot immediately. Buds may be specialised to develop flowers or short shoots, or may have the potential for general shoot development. This month’s focus, aligned to the theme of budding, will be on: Your budding voice. It will be on viewing your voice as an undeveloped (not bad or ugly) shoot, that has remained dormant, but has the potential for development. On viewing your voice as something – that with care, nurturing and practice – can be specialised or have the potential for development. Why this theme? Because many of you don’t like the sound of your voice, when you hear it in its recorded form. My goal for you, for the end of this month, is that you have more understanding of your voice, and like your voice more. This understanding and liking will underpin future development of your voice. One reason you might dislike your recorded voice is because, in comparison to the rich voice you hear while speaking, the recorded version can sound foreign – not reflective of the person you hear speaking every day.

To warm you up for the month . . .

Here is a post that describes why your voice sounds differently on an audio recording. Consider the following information on voice production and voice perception:
  • Researcher John Ohala studied the vocal pitch of humans and other mammals and found that a high pitch signified that the mammal was either frightened, uncertain, small, or infantile. With electronic lowering of pitch there was increase in the perception of dominance.  A high pitch was correlated with politeness but also subordination.
  • A breathy voice may convey uncertainty and effeminacy.
  • A monotone voice has been correlated with depression.
  • You can change other people’s perception of your chronological age by manipulating resonance, pitch and speaking speed. Speak more slowly, with a lower pitch to be perceived as older than your chronological age.                                       Speak faster, with a higher pitch, to be perceived as younger than your chronological age.
  • If you occupy more space with your body and with your gestures, it will be easier to produce a louder voice.
  • If you constrain your body language and gestures, it will easier to produce a softer voice.
  • Most people have vocal biases. A vocal bias is a prejudice to certain types of voices that one doesn’t like in other people.  Due to a particular bias, a person may limit that vocal feature in their own speaking.  Common vocal biases include dislike of fast or slow speaking, or of a high or low vocal pitch, or loud or soft speaking.  For example, if a person doesn’t like who speak loudly, due to this bias he/she may never raise their voice, even when it is appropriate to do so.
Consider the following quotes about voice and speaking
  • ‘A man’s style is in his voice. Wooden minds, wooden voices.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • ‘Speak clearly, if you speak it all. Carve every word; before you let it fall’. Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
  • ‘Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.’ Maggie Smith
  • ‘The human voice is the most perfect instrument of all.’ Arvo Part
  • ‘Sing. sing a song. . .  Make it simple to last your whole life long Don’t worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear Just sing, sing a song.’ Joe Rapso

Own the Conversation

Some of you will find this task uncomfortable or embarrassing. Do it anyway. Some will find it easy. In the next seven days, in your car when you’re driving alone. Or in some other place when no one can hear you. Sing some bars of a song you like, or the bars of the above Rapso song. (if you don’t know the rhythm of the song here’s Karen Carpenter’s version of it). If you’re in a car and you don’t want anyone to see you singing, don’t worry. Most drivers (and people) are self-absorbed. If they see you singing, they’ll think you’re talking on your hands-free phone. If you’re reluctant to do this singing, discount its importance. Say this aloud. ‘It’s no big deal . . . I’m experimenting and getting to know my voice a little bit better’.
p.s. Check out this post on How to shake hands # You might want to trial my Confident Personal Communication video learning programme because it will give you practical techniques to ‘Own the Conversation’