“I think this is very important, number nine, is to be honest. This is a tactical approach these days. People always say, ‘I love that thing you’ve got where you just say whatever’s on your mind. You just come right out with it. It’s like, you know, the truth.’ It’s like, well, that’s not really a tactic. That’s a way of living. That’s a way of being.” This is just one of the pithy quotes from David Carr’s commencement address to the UC Berkeley School of Journalism in 2014. Carr’s comment reminded me of a quote from the founder of Common Cause, John Gardner:

“Pity the leader caught between unloving critics and uncritical lovers.”

In effect, what we should seek out in our lives are ‘loving critics’. The people who care about our welfare and support us, as well as giving us unvarnished feedback. People pay me to be their loving critic – to give them honest feedback that is couched with sensitivity – about how they present themselves and communicate their ideas; about their self-possession, about their body language, their voice, the structure of their messages, their cadence and how they listen and speak under pressure. Other quotations from Carr’s speech that resonated with me were: “The most interesting thing in the world is something I don’t know.” “If you’re scared and courageous at the same time you’ll probably do great things.” “Don’t be a bystander in your own life.”

Own the Conversation

Implementation idea Over the next seven day seek out a loving critic, or be open to being a loving critic for someone.