Want an engaging conversation? Make sure to ask these two questions
In this 41:26 minute episode from the podcast Clear + Vivid – John and Julie Gottman: Welcome to the Love Lab hosted by Alan Alda, I learned the first question and a follow- up question to ask a person you don’t know or don’t know that well – after you’ve discovered their field of endeavour or job role.
You can use these deceptively powerful questions, when for example, you’re seated next to a person at a dinner party, or at pre-dinner drinks event or at a networking function et al.
Julie Gottman shared the below questions, describing an encounter she had with a lawyer she was seated next to at a dinner party. Listen to the 32:19 > 33:50 minute section of the podcast to hear Gottman relay the encounter.
Here are the questions:
“What drew you to becoming a lawyer*?
“What about that specific field of law* you’re in – what do you love about that?”
I have field tested these questions and they have worked exceptionally well. The first person with whom I used the questions talked for 15:00 plus minutes.
*Obviously you’d insert the person’s respective job role here.
Own the Conversation
- Within the next seven days trial the questions in an interaction.
- Reflect on the value of asking the questions.
- If you see value in the questions store them for retrieval in your tool kit of communication techniques.