The secret to projecting power and influence
Here is an important quotation from comedian, actor, writer, producer, and musician, Steve Martin:
“People who are charismatic have a combination of dominance* and warmth**. (Often thought as contradictory things). The dominant part grabs attention; the warmth prevents the dominance from being arrogant. Rather than rule by coercion –
they rule by charm.
When these hard and soft messenger effects are aligned, they are a powerful weapon.”
Now you might be thinking that Martin’s message is well and good, but how do you combine dominance and warmth in how you present yourself and communicate your ideas.
This 16 minute video clip Lean in: Power & Influence by Stanford University professor and social psychologist, Deborah Gruenfeld is Mandatory Viewing, if you want to upgrade your skill in combining dominance* and **warmth.
Here are my key take ways from the clip:
- You need show up both authoritative and approachable.
- People are going to decide if you’re competent or not in less that 100 milliseconds, and then it’s over.
- Showing up authoritatively is play high.” (*Playing high aligns to dominance). Playing high will look like a very open, expansive, relaxed body . . . you assume others will move out of your path… and
you allow your body and gestures to flow into the space of other people.
- When playing high you hold your head still and speak in complete sentences. You hold eye contact when addressing them.
- People will defer to you just by how you use your body.
- Playing high can be really dangerous. It can be dangerous when you play higher that your actual rank.
Playing low is the basis of building rapport.
- Women are held to dual expectations. That is, to play low and to be authoritative.
- You can use your own body language to intervene in your own state of mind.
Own the Conversation
Implementation idea
- Consider and trial how you might combine dominance and warmth/play high and play low, in safe situations.
- As Gruenfeld suggests… think about how you are standing when you walk into a room; think about how you sit down; think about what you’re doing with your head and your eyes when you speak and listen… and see what happens.
++++
p.s. Nathan Haynes is a top, Sydney based, professional golf coach. Recently I had a swing problem that was causing me stress. I booked a session with Nathan and he readily diagnosed the problem and gave me an easy to understand fix – and also gave me a great set-up technique. He also allowed me to video record him demonstrating the error I was making, followed by demonstrating the correct technique.
If you’re experiencing problems with your golf game, or just want a tune up, I highly recommend you phone Nathan on 0414 887 300
And let him know I was the introduction source.
(To be clear, I get no referral fee from recommending Nathan).
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