“Body language – as well as gesture – can play and important part (in people liking us in a first meeting) but the science also shows that there is something uniquely psychologically comforting about the handshake.”
This quote is from an excellent book, The Handshake by Ella A-Shamahi.
Do you have an above average or below average handshake?**
I am a noticer of handshakes and I don’t get many that impress me. The above passage from the book continues below . . . “Researchers Florin and Sanda Dolcos at the Neuroscience Lab at the University of Illinois … found that starting a social interaction with a handhshake not only makes a ‘favourable interaction’ more likely, ‘it also diminished the impact of a negative impression. … by tracking activity in the nucleus accumbens, a reward-processing region of the brain, the researchers saw greater activity in the region when a handshake occurred.” Here’s are four general guidelines on a good handshake:- Have a relaxed hand.
- With that relaxed hand make sure you fully clasp the other person’s hand (not just grasp the fingers) and then grip the person hand in a firm (but not to firm) way.
- Shake, in an unrushed manner for a couple of pumps while maintaining eye contact.
- Smoothly release your hand.
Own the conversation
Here’s what I recommend if handshaking is part of your daily work:- For the next seven days just notice/become aware of one of the above four factors about your handshake and about other people’s handshake. That is, what was the level of relaxation in the grip?; Was the handshaking rushed?; Were only the fingers grasp?
- After the seven days, in safe interaction, on purpose improve one aspect of your handshake.
