BDMs – ‘How do I fool myself . . . ‘

 In Mindset

A number of years ago I asked members of my Mastermind Group* to respond to the following question:lonely man standing before big mystical head

‘How do I fool myself by holding a perception that is lesser or greater than reality?’

I posed this question (I’m not sure where it comes from) because I know that I have blind spots about how other people perceive me.

Knowing how others perceive me and reflecting on their feedback can stop me fooling myself about how I come across.

Here is the text of the email I sent after that Mastermind Group, meeting.


Subject: Thanks in advance/how do I fool myself by holding a perception that is lesser or greater than reality?


‘Hi Everyone,

At our last Mastermind meeting I asked A, J and D to help me out. I asked them to consider the following question about me:

‘How do I fool myself by holding a perception that is lesser or greater than reality?’

and then to email me their thoughts. I invite you P & I to do the same.

I asked A, J and D to be direct as possible.

The reason I asked for this feedback is that I know I have blind spots about how I come across/am perceived by others. (For example, I may perceive myself as being inspiring where another person might perceive me to be overwhelming).

Knowing more about how others perceive me, will help me understand myself better.  And then I can take action, if warranted, to change how I behave, think etc.

Be assured whatever you say, I won’t take it personally.

All of your perceptions are valid.   

Thanks for considering to do this for me and for any feedback you give.


Michael K’


Only one person responded to the question.

In addition to giving me feedback on my vitality and energy – the person gave great feedback that I was unaware of. Namely,

that I came across as a bit of a know-it-all.

That was a precious gem of feedback, which I value to this day.

From the feedback, I often now state, near the start of a piece of work with a client, that I can come across as a know-it-all. I then clearly state that I definitely don’t believe I know it all about the topic – although I’m always striving to improve.

There are several 360 degree type instruments to get feedback about yourself. However, these tools can be fraught, time-consuming and cumbersome.

When asked of a person with whom you have a trusted relationship, the ‘how do I fool myself’ question can give you valuable feedback, in a short time-frame.

Your CALL to action/HOW to apply for this post: In the next seven days take a risk and send your adaption of the above ‘How do a fool myself’ email to a person whom you trust.

* A Mastermind Group is a group of like-minded people (in my case solo business owners) who meet regularly to help each other in a particular venture or interest. Here is a link to a PDF by Jack Canfield on how to set up and run a Mastermind Group

Check out this post with advice from jazz great, Theolonius Monk, entitled Thelonious Monk and memorable speaking

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