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BDMs – ‘How do I fool myself . . . ‘

 In Mindset

A number of years ago I asked members of my Mastermind Group* to respond to the following question:lonely man standing before big mystical head

‘How do I fool myself by holding a perception that is lesser or greater than reality?’

I posed this question (I’m not sure where it comes from) because I know that I have blind spots about how other people perceive me.

Knowing how others perceive me and reflecting on their feedback can stop me fooling myself about how I come across.

Here is the text of the email I sent after that Mastermind Group, meeting.

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Subject: Thanks in advance/how do I fool myself by holding a perception that is lesser or greater than reality?

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‘Hi Everyone,

At our last Mastermind meeting I asked A, J and D to help me out. I asked them to consider the following question about me:

‘How do I fool myself by holding a perception that is lesser or greater than reality?’

and then to email me their thoughts. I invite you P & I to do the same.

I asked A, J and D to be direct as possible.

The reason I asked for this feedback is that I know I have blind spots about how I come across/am perceived by others. (For example, I may perceive myself as being inspiring where another person might perceive me to be overwhelming).

Knowing more about how others perceive me, will help me understand myself better.  And then I can take action, if warranted, to change how I behave, think etc.

Be assured whatever you say, I won’t take it personally.

All of your perceptions are valid.   

Thanks for considering to do this for me and for any feedback you give.

Cheers,

Michael K’

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Only one person responded to the question.

In addition to giving me feedback on my vitality and energy – the person gave great feedback that I was unaware of. Namely,

that I came across as a bit of a know-it-all.

That was a precious gem of feedback, which I value to this day.

From the feedback, I often now state, near the start of a piece of work with a client, that I can come across as a know-it-all. I then clearly state that I definitely don’t believe I know it all about the topic – although I’m always striving to improve.

There are several 360 degree type instruments to get feedback about yourself. However, these tools can be fraught, time-consuming and cumbersome.

When asked of a person with whom you have a trusted relationship, the ‘how do I fool myself’ question can give you valuable feedback, in a short time-frame.

Your CALL to action/HOW to apply for this post: In the next seven days take a risk and send your adaption of the above ‘How do a fool myself’ email to a person whom you trust.

* A Mastermind Group is a group of like-minded people (in my case solo business owners) who meet regularly to help each other in a particular venture or interest. Here is a link to a PDF by Jack Canfield on how to set up and run a Mastermind Group

Check out this post with advice from jazz great, Theolonius Monk, entitled Thelonious Monk and memorable speaking

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