Picture this situation. You need to ask a colleague for help on an important project. You see the person and approach them. Consider how you might open the interaction, to encourage the person to give you their time and their attention.

Here’s an example of a process I used in promoting a seminar.
1. Enter the premise/Approach the person and stop. Simultaneously: Fully face the person, Hold eye contact, Note the colour of their eyes and Smile.
2. Say ‘Hi/their name, I wonder if you can help me out?’
3. Then P–A–U–S–E, for a second or two.
4. The person will say something like, ‘Sure’, Well, let’s see’, ‘Maybe’.
5. Then ask for help.

I said the following as I walked door to door, to shops and offices along a section of Sydney’s North Shore.

‘Hi, I wonder if you can help me out . . . . . .  I’m delivering a business seminar for Ku-ring-gai Council at the Roseville Golf Club in two weeks time. I’d like to invite the owner of the business to attend.’

Now, these steps might seem too basic to be effective. However, they are powerful when well executed.

Regarding Step #1, I observe people – particularly when unsure if a person will say yes to a request – looking worried, or not making eye contact, or not positioning their body to fully face the person.

Regarding Step #3, I observe people rushing when asking for help. In order to project certainty, make sure there is a definite pause break after ‘I wonder if you can help me out? ‘ – to give the person time to respond. This is important. By the way, a good mantra to embed in your identity, is this:

People will believe my certainty. They may not know if an idea is good or not, but they will believe how certain I am that it is a good idea.

Own the Conversation

In the next seven days, make a calendar entry, for a conversation you’ll be having, where you’ll be asking for help – and adapt the above process for the conversation.

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p.s. Here’s a post on a sentence to ban during a PowerPoint presentation.