A sharp message to ‘toughen you up’ from 50 cent

“What he had discovered was simple: When you submit in spirit to aggressors or to an unjust and impossible situation, you do not buy yourself any real peace. You encourage people to go further, to take more from you, to use you for their own purposes.

They sense your lack of self-respect and they feel justified in mistreating you. When you are humble you reap the wages of humility.  You must develop the opposite – a fighting stance that comes from deep within and cannot be shaken. You force some respect.

This is how it is in life for everyone: people will take from you what they can. If they sense that you are the type of person who accepts and submits, they will push and push until they have established an exploitative relationship with you.  Some will do this overtly; others are more slippery and passive aggressive.

You must demonstrate to them that there are lines that cannot be crossed. They will pay a price for trying to push you around.  This comes from you attitude fearless and always prepared to fight. It radiates outward and can be read in your manner without you have to speak a word.

By a paradoxical law of human nature, trying to please people less, will make them more likely in the long run to respect and treat you better.”

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The above passage is from the book, The 50th Law, by 50 cent and Robert Greene, on pp. 131-132, under the heading ‘The Fighting Stance’. I’ve shared the passage with many of my clients. Their feedback is that is rings true, from experiences in their working life.

My further thoughts on the passage from my own reflection and from reading Robert Greene’s writings, are these:

– People have a sixth sense for weakness.

– Be bold – no one  honour the timid.

– You teach people how to treat you, by how you treat yourself, and how you handle, carry and conduct yourself. (This relates to the,  ‘ it. . . . can be read in your manner . . .’ in the passage.

– He/she who loses their cool – loses.

The ‘how to apply’ for this post: Reflect on the passage and determine what is the point/line that when people cross it – you will take action/make people ‘pay a price’. Then prepare and practice in advance what action/how you will  respond to those who cross that line.